Anyways after her death we have traveled Europe for two more months trying to get back to some kind of 'normality' again, but it is not easy.
Now, beside my own family, husband and children, I'm alone. I've been lied for all my life by all those who saw me growing up. I've been kept at distance by my own mother, not worth of her last goodbye. I need to find out now, who I want to be from now on.
We came back in the north one week ago, just in time for Mabon season. I'm trying to find comfort in the nature, but even the outdoors can't really heal my soul. I hope this dark season will help letting me go of the grief, and blame and sadness to shine again when to solstice will come.